My Support Forums - View Single Post - What do I do when boyfriend and I can't agree on having kids.

carcrashonrepeat · Apr 15, 2018, 06:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Olive303

I think that shows how I’m not ready to decide but my boyfriend wants a decision. He doesn’t want to be with someone who doesn’t see a future with him or to be together if we will just break up. He predicts my wanting children won’t go away and his not wanting children won’t go away so what’s the point? He does have a point. I may be young (I’m actually 24), and I may not know what I want in a lot of ways but I know I want kids. What I don’t know is how content I’d be without them- how can I at this age? What I don’t know is which I would rather have. What I don’t know is if the timing will ever feel right for me.

I’d love to take a break but it just seems like procrastination. Is it wise to continue a relationship I’m not sure may even have a future? Like I said my boyfriend thinks we should break up since I’m not sure if I can handle being childless or not so the decision does need to me made- and fast.

If it's making you and your boyfriend so stressed out that it physically manifests in your body then taking a break is probably best. That's not procrastination. That is self-care.

Again, you guys are trying to plan for a future you are unsure of. And the planning is stressful for the both of you when it shouldn't be. If he wants an answer from you, why isn't he content with you not knowing what you want? This doesn't have to be yes or no. If you don't know when or if you wanna have kids, then that is the answer. He can do what he wants with that. But it seems like he is trying to find a reason for the relationship to end. And I think you deserve to be with someone who respects where you are right now.

Putting a deadline on this or making predictions that are unfair to make right now is not cool.