I can’t tell if it’s paranoid or anxious. I can’t say why because if I do for sure it’ll be an admission of guilt and I’ll be arrested. My husband says not to worry but I can’t calm down. I haven’t told him how bad it’s making me. I’m taking my ambein as I please. It’s supposed to be for sleep but I’m using it and staying awake. Not daily. It’s getting bad, I can’t sleep when I’m tired just because I keep thinking about it. Every little noise is getting to me. Like the police will knock anytime. I know it’s unlikely especially because it’s the weekend but I can’t calm down. I’m questioning going up 20 mg of my zyprexa but I have no pdoc. I leave with my parents in less then a week and I don’t want to ruin this like I’ve ruined all my other vacations. I don’t want to loose all I have. On top of my mental health “issues” My son developed a cyst that has popped and is leaking but we can’t set him up a dr.’s appointment until tomorrow.