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carcrashonrepeat · Apr 16, 2018, 04:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skull&Crossbones

I'm only concerned because my partner seems disappointed and sad for me because I don't have friends like he has. He has tons of friends all over the country and world. He used to have a job that had him travel and work with people from many different countries. He simply doesn't understand not having friends. He also doesn't understand having little to no connection to family like I do. He had to witness how my parents treat me to understand why I don't like having a lot of contact with them.

I've tried meetup groups and other community organizations. Even groups that I should have things in common with on paper, I don't feel like my life experiences match. Maybe it's too hard to explain. I've dropped out of a lot of organizations because I didn't feel welcome or comfortable. One could argue it's just me, but I feel welcome and comfortable at the school I work at.

There aren't a lot of organizations that I would relate to in my town because it's relatively small (only 300,000 people give or take) and the culture is VERY rural so it's uncomfortable to be different in a relatively conservative place.

I've gone off and on to a group of people who relate to each other by their sexual orientation, but I don't feel like I belong there because my dating experience in the past and present is different than theirs and it frankly makes me feel inadequate. It was hard on my relationship because I felt like I wanted to start making unreasonable demands on it to be like the others.

I don't know, maybe it's hard to understand without more detail, but I'm not sure I'm comfortable giving more detail.

I was in a similar dynamic in previous relationships. Most of my boyfriends were way more sociable than I was. it came so easily to them that I always seemed to be the weird one because I mostly liked being alone. It's difficult, particularly because comparing ourselves to other people can become unhealthy for everyone involved.

Ways to make me less lonely usually include being mindful of the small things we take for granted. Going to a nice restaurant, for example, and taking a long time to eat so you can savor the taste of it. Sitting in the park and listening to the birds or watching squirrels play. These are things we often overlook when we're around other people, and when we're alone somewhere along the way you might appreciate that there are these outer mechanisms at play, simply existing like you are.

Another way to feel less lonely is to find activities oriented for one person. Writing, drawing, exercise, reading a book, etc.