Sounds like you are suffering right now. I am sorry to hear this. You need your support system right now including your husband. So by all means tell him all about what you are going through right now. He may make worthwhile suggestions to you, or at least be an emotional support for you.

Go up 20 mg of olanzapine? This is allot. Why not take 10 mg instead? Why 20 mg? IMO not a good idea to increase this med that much. You are abusing both ambien and may end up abusing your AP. I do not see this bringing you stability and happiness. However, I do understand why you are doing this. Be aware of the pitfalls of your current approach to these meds. I can understand that you are not in the right frame of mind for making decisions like this. Ask your husband for help. He probably will be more grounded and think more clearly for you. These are not meds to play with like popping another couple pills of Tylenol for a headache.

Hang in there. Talk to your husband. I hope you will feel better soon.