I took a full tablet of olanzapine instead of half last night (20 instead of 10). I went back to half a tablet tonight. My husband thinks I'm just being silly that we're doing nothing wrong. He's fine with me abusing the ambien as long as it's not regularly. I have to be very careful because I don't want to be addicted to it. He's not being much help. I don't think he understands how bad off I am. I'm good at looking/acting fine when I'm not even when I'm not trying. I'm hoping things get better when I leave. It's stupid that I can't handle any stress. I don't feel the cops will follow me there, at least right now. Is it bad when you know you sound crazy?

I'm going to try and make an appointment for June 4th.