I too know the struggle. I'm done also and what I mean by that is next month I'm going for ECT. Too many years of trial and error with meds. This stretch of depression has lasted for almost 2 years. I hardly have any hypomania moments due to mood stabilizers I think. Honestly I miss my hypo mania moments. At least I had energy and felt good for awhile. I can barely work 20 hours a month if that. It's hard to do the simplest task because everything seems so hard to do. I was told yesterday just exercise it will make you feel better. Yes I know this I use to be an avid hiker and went to the gym all the time. Now it's a struggle to just shower. Someone said were special and the pain is worth it. Not for me by any means.