That whole "triggered" phrase is one I had never heard until starting therapy. I understand it now, but don't know what to do when it happens. Today I was triggered by an email from my lawyer. I could feel myself getting very upset and anxious and reacting all out of proportion. I dashed off a very upset email in response but luckily restrained myself from hitting send. The triggering revolves around a guy on my divorce team, who I have had bad experiences with before. But what can I do about it? I am stuck with this guy. It's not like I can avoid the trigger. And I react so negatively to him that it's got to be something more than him, something more deeply embedded in me and my history. I feel embarrassed by my reaction but I can't help it. How can I stop this? Truly, he is not a bad guy. And maybe it is not even him that is the trigger, but when I hear about these people talking about me behind my back and/or keeping secrets from me, I just do not react well. And it just happens that he is usually somehow involved. It always seems like he is there when I am not in the loop and somehow what he says doesn't add up and he isn't forthcoming with me. I feel betrayed and like he wants to keep me anxious and uncomfortable. Why can't he just make things easier instead of harder? What is the point? I just sent him a check for $1200.

I have therapy tomorrow and wonder if I should talk about this. Is this something T could help me with? Or should I just suck it up and somehow get through all the anxiety that this causes? This is when I want drugs for anxiety.

What is this all about? Would it even help me to know? Am I better off learning some CBT coping strategies to deal with this?

I feel like they want me to march through Hell for arbitrary reasons, and I cannot get through it.