I had another appt, I guess a psych also that is in therapy role for me to get the 'right' services...I dunno, she told me to go back to my primary doc and tell her I want chronic pain management...I have gone back to gym but just to soak in hot tub...it seems I may have picked up some sort of virus that hubby and room mate and I are passing back and forth...whole headache, tummyache, cold, feverish...

My MRI was done 10 days ago, but I have heard nothing about the results from that. I went to the therapy because the p-doc that prescribed the cymbalta suggested talk therapy for my kind of depression...so basically so far, i came off three meds and started 3 new ones, I have been told by one dr fibromyalgia and the neuro scoffing at that and added a new type of neuropathy...then there is the p-doc who said it was probably all my pent up depression...ummmm i dun think so but i have had major depressive moods even as a teen though my childhood was not bad...

Last night was a high stress misunderstanding with the mr., and it was hard to move today...i bought a book on fibro and myofacial just to see what i can do...my lower back i have problems with, they are fusing on their own...pms'ing with a headache and nausea is not fun...and i know i am &%itching moaning and groaning...I have stopped most functions...but i did decide to try harder on caring for myself better...i am taking the alpha lipoic acid and my sugars are getting better, i am not missing my morning or evening meds...i am eating 1/2 of what i was in evening...actually i am eating less period and the things i am eating i am trying to be healthy...i have been cooking rather than letting mr pick something up on way home...now i need routine in going to gym...

i hurt and i cannot explain it...sometimes i feel so alone...i am so tired of being this way...and yet i am hopeful, i want to get out and work and yet i cant...there is something stopping me...pain...and a great fear i will bumble around and finally know for a fact i can't work...that would be the worst fear confirmed...now i know i am going on and on...thank you (((hugs))) for reaching out ...ty so much...melanie