Pdoc said go up to 100mg lamictal on Friday. She said only thing to do is grit my teeth and get through this. I think the only thing to do is



****ing ********. **** it. She’s right. Wtf am I supposed to do but feel like ****. Story of my life. I’m always looking for a way out but there IS no viable way out. Unless I want to mess up my son forever. I don’t want him to live this cursed life.

****. I’m so enraged. I drove like a hundred miles down the highway, changing lanes without even looking.

I have a million scenarios running through my head but none are healthy. I’m just going to take ONE Ativan, curl up under my weighted blanket, and hopefully go to sleep.