Alright, I guess I should start by saying I'm a 17-year-old junior in high school. I have friends that I like and a pretty good family. They all pretty much know I'm lesbian at this point, or at least that's what they've labeled me. And they don't have much of a problem with it. I don't know if any of that is actually relevant so sorry for wasting your time if it isn't. I don't know if what I feel is gender dysphoria. It's so hard to describe but I'll try. Sometimes I just feel overwhelmingly uncomfortable as a girl. And in these times I imagine how amazing it would feel to be a guy, just the thought of it comforts me so much. I don't hate being a girl though. I don't really get the fashion and I don't wear makeup but it's what I'm used to. It's what everyone else is used to too. Sometimes I get dreams of where I'm a guy, and, sorry if TMI, but when these dreams are involuntary I usually wake up feeling sexually excited. I don't know if that means maybe I've got a drag fetish or what. If I could change how I was born, I would, without a doubt, rather be reborn a boy. I get so jealous of the way boys act around each other, their friendships, their fashion, their bodies, their facial hair, and yes their dicks. I don't consider myself insanely ugly or anything but I 100% don't think I could ever have the confidence I could in a guy body. And confidence or lack thereof, is my main fault in life, no matter what I do, it's always a problem. But I can't help to think things could be different if I were a guy. And I've considered transitioning. I run into a big problem though, one that I'm sure all people who transition run into. I don't know if I can bear the thought of my family and friends looking at me differently. Even if they all accepted it completely (which isn't very likely) it would still be different. I almost wish I could just block everyone I know out of my life and just start over. I wish I could kill off the version of me everyone knows. But I also don't because I have so many god damn memories. Good and bad but all the same, I don't know how I could just forget about them. That's really my situation. That and I have no idea if this is what I really want. I hate dressing up in guy clothes as a girl because I don't find it attractive and I don't have short hair for the same reason. But if I could really look and sound like a guy. Everything would be different. It's just so much to think about and I want to know if anyone has ever felt this same way and if they think I can overcome either constantly wishing I was a guy or overcome rewriting my entire past image and starting over. Thanks for your time, it means a lot. I haven't told this to anyone and it's been a lot to keep in.