I know it’s my life and there is no “right” answer someone could magically give me to make this okay, no advice that could be given. Either way I’m in for some heartache- either losing the person I love or losing out on having children just to be with him.

I’m an analytical person and a writer. Being able to think through this and write it out and gain perspective from other people is helpful. It’s especially helpful to process this with outsiders who don’t have a personal steak in me like my friends and family do. I know for me talking through all the options and reasoning helps me at least make peace with the situation. I’m not at peace yet but I’m spending time processing through this dialogue with all of you.

So I want to thank anyone whose responded in any way and cared enough to read through my personal issues. Even if we don’t always see eye to eye I thank you. I’ll keep replying to posts if it feels natural.

I’d love to have a therapist but at this point I can’t afford therapy and I’ve tried to look into options but there are none in my area.