Why am I scared to see you?

Is it because I'm afraid you will have changed after these five months? Am I afraid you've forgotten me, or at least forgotten things about me and the things we've worked on? Am I scared to tell you how bad things got while I was gone? Maybe I'm afraid that all these things I've kept from you, even well before these five months, will spill out and you'll be mad at me?

I think I just answered my own question. Sigh.