Ok so I guess that’s once again I have to admit that I’m human. I’ve been hanging around this forum long enough that I kind of know people and their situation. I truely am happy when I observe someone conquering their demons and getting to a stable happy place.

BUT, and this is a big butt, I also feel envious and feeling like I’m a failure, because I “should” be progressing too. I wish I could cut myself some damned slack! And I’m going to work on that. The central theme to responses to my posts seems to be self acceptance.

The death of my 2 sisters this past year really threw a monkey wrench into my stability train. Guilt that I should have visited them more or helped more in some way. Also they were both younger than me. That scares me. It doesn’t help that their deaths were not age related. I feel like I failed them. I’m the older sister I should have done something. It’s not rational I know! But there it is.

I’m seriously considering going back into therapy. It’s been a long time. Last time I visited my Pdoc she wanted to see me in 3 weeks, instead of the usual 2 to 3 months. That was a wake up call.