((((((Marie))))))),

Welcome to PC & wanted to let you know I have read your whole post....without a ramble thought in my head. You have so many issues going on in your life from your past & your present, it has to be hard to sort out a plan for working on getting help.

To start with, I hope you have a therapist....psychologist, but that sounds like the place where I would start. One needs professional outside help when you have so many issues going on in your life. Starting with your present issues would be my suggestion, making sure that you are safe & trying to get in control of what is currently going on in your life with your family seems as though it would be the priority to work on immediately.

After that point, then a psychologist will be able to work on the past traumas you have gone through & how they are also effecting your current life. Those things that you lived through as a child leave huge scars that we have to deal with as adults.

I am so glad that you have found PC.....it is a wonderful supportive site that can provide a great support system while working with the professionals on the deep issues inside of us. This is a wonderful place to talk through the thoughts that therapy brings up. It is also a great place to get input on those thoughts....ideas that we alone might not think about.

The support that everyone here is able to provide is amazing & hope that your stay will be a wonderful experience for you & that you can start to get professional help along with this support to start getting in control of your own life.

Welcome to PC,
Debbie