I'm feeling better this morning. The xray report said 'no obvious recurrent or metastatic disease' so whatever is causing this shoulder/chest/neck/clavicle/arm pain is probably not too serious. I'll be getting my regular ct scans in early July to catch early return of cancer. It's a sinking feeling, though, whenever I feel the pain and think about my cancer history and prospects for the future. Lung cancer is a sneaky disease and can come back even after years of NED (no evidence of disease).

Yesterday started off poorly in the morning as my son wouldn't get out of bed. He had spent all of Monday sleeping late and playing video games instead of working on job applications, his github project portfolio, or leetcode interview problems. Tuesday morning we got into a fight but at least he got out of bed and eventually started working on his opensource contribution to a video game. He had to brush up on C++ to really get to work on it. He had been stuck on this problem with a mental block on how to do it for months but finally made some headway yesterday. We went out to dinner at one of his favourites, a bbq place. So on our scale of things it was a good day. I let him drive in but he had trouble merging onto the highway and ran into the breakdown lane before the driver behind him literally stopped to let him in. I've never been in that situation before in all my years of driving. We made a deal he drives about half of the time so my nerves also get a break.

I think my shoulder pain is getting better. I can manage in the morning without reaching for my muscle relaxant/pain reliever immediately. Pot helps a lot with the pain. For now my quit is out the window and I don't feel good about that. On the other hand, I don't really feel good about anything in my life atm except that I still have a relationship with my son. I mean our relationship could be a lot worse than it is.