I woke up hungover, then as the med wore off I got super ****ing agitated. I was trying to go back to sleep and could only think of harming myself so I jumped out of bed and went for an angry walk around my neighborhood. Halfway through my walk NV texted. I told him what was going on and he said don’t worry, I’m on my way <3 so he really does care for me. He came up and cuddled with me for awhile, rubbed my shoulders, etcetera. Told me he wants a list of ten things I can do when I’m angry that don’t involve “jumping into traffic” as I had put it. Lol. I don’t want him to be my therapist obviously but it’s nice to know he does care for me.

He left and now I’m alone and back in a rage. I think my mom tipped me into mixed territory. Right? Can an incident trigger a mood flip? I really just want to go for a drive but I don’t know where to go. I have t at three. But if I stay here I’m going to harm myself, no question about it. So I guess I better gtfo of here. Maybe just drive down to a farther exit and swing back around.

I’ve had two protein shakes and one McDonald’s hash brown today and that’s only so I don’t pass out at some point. ****ing body. ****ing brain.