Sunrise,
I think it is good that you are not just accepting that you don't like the guy and looking at whether there is more too it. However, I would not ignore your gut feeling. I'm finding that when I have the visceral sense that something is not right there is usually good reason for it. From what you described in other posts, I think you have good reason to be angry with this team and the whole damn divorce process for that matter. LET GO and be angry :-) Sorry, LOL at myself

Sounds like you are rewinding and reviewing your interactions with him looking for a connection; but also keeping your external responses in check. I don't think this is anything to be embarrassed about! To me it shows a lot of restraint and maturity in dealing with your feelings. Embarrassing would be you sending the legal group an email saying he's a f'ing pansy who watches too many soaps and dreams of being the top gossiping hen. Or maybe recommending that he join a small-penis support group to get some balls to say stuff to your face. Opps! lets see how the censors deal with that one. Use this post if you want to write down you dislikes and the feelings (however unsupported they presently are) and see what you find. We can help you vent anonymously without any RL fallout.

Personally for the 1/2 cent that its worth, I think this would be a good think to chat with your T about, unless you have other stuff that it more important. This guy might not be worth spending your valuable T time on.

The behind your back issue is still bothering you. Although you were able to clear things up with you T, you seem still really angry with the other people involved. Maybe you've decided to focus that anger on one person. Maybe this makes dealing with the others more tolerable. MAYBE if he is truly a jerk ...and he is someone in the group who you can %#@&#!-off without hurting your situation too much--you can deliberately transfer all you anger towards him. It may make dealing with the others more bearable until you are fully untangled. I don't know if that is healthy or not--but if its OK for us to make our Ts into transitional vessels for our emotions, why not do it with some jerk?

Remember the source of the above information is an insane person.