Quote:
Originally Posted by Rose76
This young man has had the benefit of your love over a four year period, during which a lot of women might not have relished being with a student. Students don't have a lot of money. A thin wallet has never been considered a "chick magnet." Student years can be lonely. You've made his student years a lot less lonely. Now, with school winding down, he anticipates a bump up in his economic status. Coincidentally, he just now has decided he wants a firmer commitment from you on the no-kid-issue. (Hint: it's not a coincidence.)
I'm not saying he stayed up late concocting a plan to trap you. But you leaving him now would be less upsetting than if you left in the middle of his doctoral program. His ability to replace you is about to get a good little boost. Doctor So-and-So will have more swag than Student So-and-So. So, if you need to leave, he would appreciate it if you'ld do so now. Then he can cleanly move on into the next phase of his life. He won't be lonely long.
At least you would have the joy of knowing that you got him off to a good start in life. If you split, he goes off having nailed down the education he needed for the career of his dreams. He did it without being lonely. And he had a house-mate with a job who helped keep the fridge full. You, on the other hand, walk away with . . . . . . . . . . . . .
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Wow. I find everything you said here to be incredibly disrespectful and negative of me and my relationship. Honestly I don’t need more negativity in my life. .
When we met we were both students. We did our bachelor degrees together, at the same college. So I’m not just some girl who put up being with a student when I was one myself for the majority of our relationship! We were in the same place in life when we started dating. I walked away with a bachelors degree.
He is in the middle of his program right now- smack in the middle actually so he is and will still be in student years. Then after that is the internship phase which he specifically planned with me in mind. Once he graduates it’s not like he’ll be rolling in the dough- he’s got those pesky student loans to pay off plus helping his parents who dropped a large sum on tuition fees. He has years until his career really takes off. It’s pretty rude to insinuate that he’s some player who knows he’ll get girls just from having the title of “doctor”. I was his first girlfriend for a reason. This is not a person who functions in the out of touch way you seem to think all young men do.
And your last paragraph is unnecessarily negative. I don’t need someone telling me that my 4 year relationship which meant a lot to both of us is “someone to keep him from being lonely” and that I “keept the fridge full”. Really?
When we met we were both college students and I was 20. Since he came from a dysfunctional family he never imagined himself to have a wife and never fell in love until he met me. We BOTH grew a lot and I learned a lot about myself while with him. We grew a lot together and now we are growing apart. He helped me deal with trauma, plus a massive injury I had, and has been generally emotionally supportive and encouraging me to pursue a better career.