I am just a nobody and I have nobody . Not one friend . Not a family member who loves me . I stopped taking my medication . I should take it because now I feel worse but something stops me from taking it and maybe that is me giving up. I don't feel god around me . I'm empty . I don't deserve love or help or support. Even if I do deserve it , there is nobody willing to give it to me . I had a care coordinator but she stopped calling me . I haven't heard from her in more than 6 weeks . My phone broke the other day so I don't have her number . I called the Samaritans a few times . Why do they always ask how can I help you ? What am I suppose to reply to that ? Or they ask for the reason you are depressed . But they are a stranger . Why do they expect you to tell them all this personal stuff instantly when I don't know them . It's like they are just being nosey rather than actually wanting to help. Saying that I think I will phone them again. I don't think I will speak . It's too hard . PS I really wish I was dead