There's a difference between people knowing I have PTSD vs seeing it in action. People just knowing about it, I genuinely don't care because it is what it is. But the moment they see me having a flashback, I hate it and all I want to do is hide away out of shame. It's this shame that I can't control myself in, what they see as, a safe environment. I can't just make them forget what they saw, me freaking out, again. I hate it. I'm a private person, I don't want people knowing what's going on inside my house, let alone my head. Having a flashback... it's like they're getting a sneak peak at my shame and disgust. More than that, they're seeing me vulnerable. I'm never to be vulnerable again, unless in the safety of my fiance alone or just by myself.

Does anyone else feel or has felt this way? If so, how do you deal or have delt with it in the past?