Sometimes hiding our issues all the time for a very long time in order to be strong and what people expect (rather than just being ourselves) can really backfire. We can even begin believing what we are trying to be and lose contact with our authentic self. I wonder if dissociation is an extreme form of this? I know you have had be be strong for your mother, brother, nephews, friends... It's OK to be weak sometimes. And how private to be is a real judgement call--perhaps you are "private" because of your dad's anger issues--I know introverts are more private than extroverts so maybe you DO need privacy--I am such an extrovert that introverted people probably would recoil at how open I can be sometimes--but in your case, try to figure out if you need to be private is because you just want to or if you are private because your childhood has made you afraid to be yourself. I don't know if this makes sense--perhaps your situation is so different than mine but just some thoughts based on my experiences...