I mentioned I was on disability and the person was surprised, she says you seem so normal. I said that's what meds can do. I know I seem normal, even thought I was for a while and tried to live like a normal person. I relapsed and realize I cannot be working two jobs trying to make ends meet living on my own. I need the support staff or to be living with another person.

Even though I was reasonably happy working my two jobs, I had jobs I enjoyed. I still fell apart. I even had an apartment I liked. I just wish I could be normal. I really am driven and try hard to achieve. But I relapse and kick myself in the butt really. That is depressing, though I don't get depressed anymore I get crazy mostly.