I mean, what the **** do you suggest I do? I can't undo the past 16 months with you, I have no idea if it's helping or harming and maybe it IS parrtly why I've given myself this stupid food issue, to cope with all the **** that's coming up, but what the **** do I do now? I feel like it's got serious and now you want to jump ship. I don't know what to do. I'm sorry I've done this, I ruin everything again and again and again and I hate being like this. It's hopeless, isn't it.