I've always had a tendency to "dump" on myself too. In some cases, it's justified. In others it's just downright stupid... there's no other way to put it. The "answer", so to speak, for me has been the ancient Tibetan Buddhist teachings called "Lojong" or "mind training" primarily as taught by the Buddhist nun Pema Chödrön.

One of the practices I have learned, & come to rely on, is one which is referred to as: "compassionate abiding". Perhaps you're familiar with it? Here's a link to a mental-health-oriented description of the practice, just in case you're not:

https://mindsetdoc.wordpress.com/201...e-abiding-101/