T's definitely contribute to the therapeutic relationship and sometimes we are reacting to their mishandling us in some way.

The trick for me is to accept that my T is human and makes mistakes sometimes. Lately he has said something like "I mishandled that or I could've explained it better this way".

If you have a T that will not adjust for you and admit he could've handled something better (some egos are just that huge) then call him on it.

You might say something like 'well, I realize that we are in a transference cycle but I really feel XYZ and don't believe that was one of my contributions to this process?

Tell him you would be willing to discuss his contributions too and that you feel it would be helpful. I've told my T that I like when he tells me how I affect him because it helps.

If you find that your T is responding to you similarly than those in your life, now is your chance to face that head on and have him respond in a kind way.