Hello crusader: Welcome to PsychCentral! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit. I don't know, of course, if you're just here seeking suggestions with regard to this particular concern or if you plan to hang in here with us. However, should you be planning to continue on, (we hope you do) may I suggest you introduce yourself over on our New Members Introductions forum? Here's a link:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/new-...introductions/

My personal thinking, with regard to your concern, is that there may not be a lot you can do to get your kids to talk to you again. And, in fact, trying too hard may well simply drive them further away. I think if you've made your desire known, & you do what you can to keep in touch during the holidays, on their birthdays, etc. this may be about as much as you can do at this point. Beyond that, the ball really is in their court, so to speak. You may simply have to wait & see if they come to you.

I don't know what your ex-wife's abuse stemmed from, of course. However here are links to some articles, from PsychCentral's archives, on the subject of narcissistic abuse that may be of interest:

https://pro.psychcentral.com/exhaust...-relationship/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/recov...e-counterpart/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/narci...use-pt-1-of-2/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/narci...use-pt-2-of-2/

I wish you well...