Hope your vacation is going well. I am holding it together, although I feel like I'm hanging on by a fraying bit of string. Feeling pretty depressed and it's hard to get up every day. I just want to "not be" most of the time. The increase of abilify isn't helping so far. I'm also having a really hard time sleeping, which sucks, since that's the only escape from my misery that I have. I won't lie, I've been tempted to use substances to dull the ache. Luckily (?) I haven't been successful in getting my hands on what I want and getting drunk doesn't appeal. I wish I knew what would make me feel better, but I can't think of a single thing.