(((((brinad))))) I'm so sorry that you're going through this and have the added burden of an unsupportive ex. I would recommend a therapist. He needs to learn how to calm himself down and express his frustration in a more appropriate manner.

ADHD is not an excuse for bad behavior, it excuses lack of impulse control. When he goes off like that I would put him in his room and let him throw his fit without the benefit of your reaction.

I don't think that spanking is helpful in this situation. Grounding is something that will happen in the future. He's feeding off of your reaction I think. Calmly tell him that you cannot understand him when he's screaming and if he continues to misbehave he will have to go to his room until he can behave. Then put him in there, if he comes out, put him back in without reponding to him. If he trashes his room in his temper tantrum, he needs to help clean it up. Once he's calmed down, tell him how much you love him and that you want to help him.

It's not a quick fix, and I know you're frustrated and hurt for your child. You're instint is to comfort him in his distress. But these skills are so important, he needs to learn them now when he's young.

Ideally it would be best if dad were to be supportive and speak to him and explain that he is expected to behave no matter where he is. Does he perhaps see his father treat you with a lack of respect and therefore think that this is acceptable behavior? How would his father deal with this situation if he was there?

The meds don't make him behave, they give him a couple extra seconds to decide if he wants to act on an impulse.

Is it possible for dad to speak to the doctor about how important the meds are? A group session? How does his psych suggest dealing with these outbursts?

We did not give our son meds unless he was in school. Holidays, summers, and weekends were med free.