I am sorry you’ve been through war. I know our experiences shape us.

I understand that you don’t know what you like and have no particular passion (are there hobbies you have that might turn into career?). It might come to you later. Many people discover their dreams later in life. You also don’t know if you want to have children. You might in general be indecisive person but it could be that you are simply too young and lack life experience and are still growing and it’s normal.

But all of that means you aren’t ready to get married and make big life decision re kids etc There is no urgency in this.

And it’s not a good reason to make big life decisions simply because your boyfriend rushes you or give you deadlines.

You don’t need to make these decisions right now.

I do hope you either get good health insurance that covers therapy or start making enough to pay for at least monthly session. I believe it would be beneficial