Dear Dr. S,

Well, I guess I'm not doing so well overall. I am using all kinds of not as safe coping mechanisms, pretty much everyone in my arsenal is at play right now, about the only one not happening is alcohol and that's on the list for after work. I stopped on my way to work and bought not my usual breakfast of champions but a very good and maybe "better" substitute. This has been a very long and grinding week. And you are not here. I surely hope this is the "it gets worse before it gets better" stage of this process because... the weird and sad thing about this is my mood overall is better. My SI is almost nonexistent and there is actually moments of hope where I think things might be able to be better. I'm just on a path of self-destruct/destroy and yeah, having you throw me out is part of that path. I think I'm daring you to show me you don't really love me.

I sure hope you know what you are doing,
me