I hear you on the invalidation when there is a conflict with others. If I had a dollar for every time I've heard the following....

"I'm sure he/she didn't mean it like that."
"You probably misunderstood."
"He/she means well."
"He/she has problems."
"He/she can't help it."
"He/she is probably just having a bad day."
"Well, you're not perfect either."
"What did you say to make him/her mad?"

The other person always gets excused. After a while it's just plumb sickening.