Hi everyone, please bear with me while I try to explain our situation- It's a bit long-winded.

Our son is now 17 and says that he has need depressed since the age of 10. We started to notice worrying issues when he was 15.

At the age of around 13 he claimed at school that he self-harmed. The school brought us in and he then denied self-harming and claimed that he had been misunderstood, he'd merely said that he'd accidentally cut himself. The school had him see a psychologist for a term who said there was nothing to worry about.

At 15 we moved very far away from our previous home. He was initially excited about the move, but as soon as he started school here he hated it. Over the next two years things became worse and worse. His mood darkened. He made virtually no friends. He no longer enjoyed the activities he previously lived, except for his games console. His schoolwork plunged (previously a "straight A" student). He didn't want to move to another school here and the family couldn't go back where we were.

I started being very worried about him, checking on him in his room etc. One day I decided to "hack" into his laptop (which we would never have done previously)

At that point our choices narrowed somewhat as you might imagine. He insisted that he "probably" wouldn't have gone through with it. But the practical nature of the note told me otherwise (passwords etc).

We got him in to see a psychiatrist who prescribed anti anxiety meds and anti depressants. He also saw a psychologist to talk through his issues in private.

We arranged for him to go back to his old school at "home" which made him very happy.

Now nearly a year later things aren't improving for him. He doesn't socialise with his old friends at all and can't motivate himself to do his schoolwork. He also says that he no longer wants to go to college because he can't seem to get the work done now.

He's angry and isolated. When he comes back here during school breaks He's fine for a few days and then the cloud descends. Anything we suggest or advise is immediately shot down. He isn't interested in seeing a therapist - he says it makes it worse "dredging it all up". He blames us for not standing over him forcing him to do schoolwork while He's here.

So That's the situation currently. He's got one more year at school before he leaves and either goes to university or not. The careers he wants to follow (obsessed by) really don't work well with his state of mind. He seems frozen, he takes no initiative. Unwilling to move on and get help, almost enjoying the misery. He seems to be subconsciously setting himself up to fail and driving friends away.

We have repeatedly said that we love him and we'll support him whatever he wants to do after he finishes school - university or not. We have also said we'd pay for whatever therapy he might want etc. But we can't force him to do what he needs to do to get better - has to come from him.

Is this the right approach? Is forcing him to take more responsibility for himself the right thing? He seems angry at us when we step in (e.g. when we sent him to the psychologist last year) and angry at us when we step back. If being angry at us is what he needs - That's fine, just Don't want to make things worse. He'll be 18 soon.