I don’t think you are being selfish at all. I can understand anger at his parents also. However, it’s your husband is the one doing these things. I sincerely doubt that his parents will have any significant change of heart. Hoping that they will suddenly urge him to be a good husband is a pipe dream. This is something you need to work out with your husband. It’s is totally reasonable to expect him to contribute to your marriage before paying for parents that can care for themselves.

Another thing I’d like to add (because I’m a think ahead kind of person) is to hold off having children until this gets sorted out (if children are in the cards for you). If it gets sorted out sorry to be a buzzkill but these are some major issues. I definately wouldn’t let him put any more charges on your credit card. home improvements are better handled with a bank loan. The interest for credit cards is MUCH higher.