I’m uncertain what you mean by ‘open up?’

When I entered therapy I was a shabby doll bent on self-destruction and acting out and upon my disorders in the most appalling ways. I was like a drunk headed back to the bar, stumbling from drink, yet needing one more drink to propel me forward.

My very first session was ugly. As were the subsequent 104. It never occurred to me to hold anything back. I was two+ years into my PhD in Psychology and running on a continuous flow of mania and delusion and could not recognize the symptoms of my disorders.

I guess that I opened up during that first ugly session. I knew that therapy was not to be, for me, a stroll down primrose lane, as there always seemed to be an ugliness within me (ever present during depressive states — mood swings, you know).

My behavior and thinking were both so twisted that I trusted my psychiatrist out of sheer professional respect. I think that has generally been the case over the decades. I haven’t, even in that putrid abyss of depression, expected to be treated gently but I admit to being partial to the shrinks who didn’t give up.

If you mean ‘brutal honesty’ when you write of opening up I would suggest now is a good time.