It's tough...I have been with my T a year and still constantly shut down. It's not him, it's me and my fear of expressing emotions. I'm still learning but anytime I feel something I don't like, I stop it by shutting down. No doubt frustrating for him because it sure frustrates me.

Getting to know him on a deeper level has helped, they advise T's not to do that but I am not a fan of that rule, for some people, it's vital. I would never had stayed this long with a shut off T. I NEED to feel that comfort and connection with someone if I am gonna allow myself to be vulnerable with them. I'm glad he shares basically anything with me, it's been a huge help

I also find that writing has helped for me. I tend to do better with the tough stuff if I write it down. I've done well in some ways but there is still a massive struggle for me to express emotions, especially when it's related to him because I'm overcome with shame... so It's a work in progress I guess...

As far as how long before I first opened about about anything tough... probably a few weeks in. It was my way of testing him. Agree about trusting and opening up to someone being different though.