Well, yesterday I was feeling pretty positive about my new venture into therapy. Today, the reality is sinking in. Last night I couldn't stop the flashbacks. I finally took the extra dose of my insomnia drug (I have flexibility on the amount I can take.. I usually take a low dose). Eventually I went to sleep and had the usual nightmares and woke in a cold sweat this morning.

Today I am angry and distrustful. I passed on the opportunity to go to the childrens museum with a friend because I didn't want to have to deal with other people. I am angry about a friend online who is stringing me along. Whenever I talk to her, she assures me that it's not how I think it is. But I have a very well-developed sense of intuition, and I know she is lying to me. I know that this other friend of hers turned my best friend online against me and is now turning this other friend against me too. She perpetuates hate and suspicion, self-proclaimed Satanist that she is.

I know... I am being overreactive. But I can feel myself pulling inward, withdrawing from everyone and everything. Stupid ptsd. Stupid life.