Usually, people learn boundaries as children. Children will unknowingly violate boundaries, an adult will explain to them why what they did is a unacceptable, and the child will not do it again. You have now been told which boundaries you violate and why it’s not acceptable— it’s now up to you to learn from that guidance and not do it anymore. In general, if you want to learn about boundaries, pay attention to how adults behave. Not children! Children are still learning about boundaries and what’s acceptable for a 4 year old is not acceptable for an adult. Just think about it: if a small child were to run outside naked, the parents might laugh and think it’s funny and just get he child back inside. If an adult did it, they could be arrested for indecent exposure.

The way to develop healthy relationships is to respect other people’s boundaries. Do not follow them around. Do not eavesdrop on their conversations. Do not show up to their work or homes when you’re not scheduled to be there. Don’t bring people gifts unless it’s a birthday and other people are likely to bring gifts also. If you’re at work, just focus on work. If people are having lighthearted conversation, it’s okay to participate. But don’t let it overwhelm the work. Focus on being professional. If a friendship is going to develop, it will happen naturally and it will be TWO sided. The other person will invite you to hang out or show an interest in you. Maybe you could let the other person initiate the friendship and set the boundaries, so you’re sure that it is two sided?