<font color="purple"> Maybe posting it here will help?

I remember it was when I was about 6...possibly seven, I was playing in my room, and then I don't remember if my brother asked me to come into his room or if I was bored and wanted to see what he was up to...anyways, I walked in, and the next thing I know he has me pinned on the bed with his hands around my throat trying to strangle me!

He was seven at the time, and I don't think he really meant any harm by it, just a new way to learned how to beat me up I guess (we used to beat eachother up alot) but it still scared the crap out of me.

I don't think this was the only time though, I mean, the only time he had his hands around my neck like that, (I think I even did that to him too, I don't have a great memory with these things)

By the way, my brother is almost exactly one year and 8 months older them me (give or take a day)

I guess it's been bugging me alot lately, and I think that if I told somebody IRL, they would have a hard time believing it, and I know he would probably deny it. (even if he wasn't ashamed, he hit his head off a brick when he was around 8, and doesn't remember that much before then) at this point, I'm not sure if I can believe it myself. It wouldn't be the first time that my memories from that era were warped.

I used to write a little journal for school, but I destroyed it when I was 10, because it was full of lies, and I felt a bit of shame and hatred about lieing to my teacher. The thing I remember most about that journal was that I wrote that me dad gave me a little dog and we would take it everywere (thus, it appeared numeros times in my entries) even though we didn't have a dog with dad and I didn't have any imaginary friends. ...I digress</font>