Welcome to psych central

What your husband is doing is abuse,plain and simple. Just because he doesn’t actually hit you doesn’t make it any less abusive. You are falling into the trap of abused women by covering for him and hiding his behavior by not telling anyone.

If he won’t go to counseling and says your the one that needs it....I say go for it. Get counseling. You need it. You need to learn coping mechanisms, how to stand up for yourself, how it not play into his abuse and inadvertently make it worse. If you do nothing and let yourself be exposed to a constant barrage of “You don’t deserve better” you will start to believe it.