I have been married almost 20 years. I used to be what I thought was the happiest person on the planet. As I hit my 30 I started wanting more out of life then just being a house wife. I had devastating life altering things happen in under a years period of time. Instead of supporting me my husband just starting demanding more and more of me. Then I found out he was a porn addict. Then on and on. My world came smashing to a halt. Everything I once thought was good about him was a lie. I had woken up to a monster. In the past 5 years I have dealt with the death of 3 important people in my life. I have a benign very large tumor on my throat that teeter tottering towards the cancerous side. Instead of helping me he intentionally intensified my confusion probably out of fear of losing me. He even started to isolate me and drive me deeper in to my old mind so that I wouldn’t believe the reality of the monster I was actual married to. My hates Astro ****ing nomical. I literally want to destroy such a piece of work from the inside out. What sane person wouldn’t! But! Because I am incredibly mentally resilient I pulled myself out of my own hell and returned my mind back to itself and even went back to work and started to fix the character assassination dealt by the maniac. I find myself pitying my kids for not waking up sooner. I’m now trapped between needing financial and healthcare support from what I have now determined is a very mentally disturbed individual. I still have a numb paralysis about him because when I act ( like nothing ever happened) he can completely go to what seems a normal stable state. Yet I’m left feeling and looking at him like wtf is wrong with you! It’s as if he doesn’t seem to register himself. Wtf. I know everyone’s going to say run. That’s all anyone ever says. It’s not that easy. Especially comming from a dependent and previously unaware stand point. Like waking up from a coma after 20 years!!!!