If you need some relief from caring for him, I would suggest to him to get an appointment with the doctor. The doctor isn't going to put up with idle bellyaching and will give him a hard time about the smoking :-)

If you do wish you could feel better, see if you can find and use some humor. Think of ways to exaggerate what you find silly (go buy him a new "soft" pillow to put under his head that you can "fluff" every so often with him still lying on it, smacking its "sides" quite hard just inches from his ears? :-) Buy straws and serve him cool drinks with a straw in them like you would a child. Just do little "jokes" that cheer you but don't "hurt" him since he won't notice and will be getting more attention from you? Buy him his own spittoon so he doesn't have to use the trash cans http://www.mudjug.com/index.asp?PageAction=Custom&ID=28

Use your imagination in fun ways and you might not mind so much that he is the recipient. Too, you learn more of what he likes and you can turn the tables and demand payback :-) In fact, everytime he likes something I'd remind him, "You know, payback is gonna be a *****!" so he doesn't think he can get away without gratitude :-) I thank my husband for all the little things he does (dishes this morning) and that encourages him to do those things again. If your husband does what he's "supposed to", what you'd like him to (doesn't spit as much, say), thank him for "not spitting as much today as you have been". When we thank someone for something they get the message we like that. So, he might quit doing some things he knows are obnoxious but isn't thinking about because they aren't being pointed out to him in a positive way. My husband only smokes in the new 3-season porch we built for him and our office which has an expensive, extra, heavy-duty smoke vacuum/fan thingy. But I still thank him every now and then for only smoking there, reinforce the good things he does anyway :-)