Just came from T. It was a very short session because I hit some unexpected traffic and was 15 minutes late. I was telling him about some anger I held toward my son and husband and said I was still angry with him too so I may as well throw him on the pile. He smiled, accepted this and so did I. We were able to continue despite this knowledge and I realized that I can be angry with him and receive his warmth a the same time. All of the fear and anxiety I have been holding about the therapeutic relationship melted away.

It was a productive session with me able to get rid of some schtuff I've been carrying and T sprinkling insights and interpretations. When the session was over I commented that it was too short. T said, "Well at least we didn't get into trouble." (a joking reference to our struggles of late). I said that would be hard in 30 minutes and he said he thought we could manage to do a fine job of it! I love when he says we. (sigh)

I feel safe again and protected. Whew. I hope it lasts a while before the next battle. I can't take much more of this roller coaster ride.