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Apr 23, 2018, 09:27 AM
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Member Since: Apr 2014
Location: Home
Posts: 8,406
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I have made a lot of progress on my recovery, but this week I feel myself sinking back down to my low point.
I know it's a few factors: my PMDD is rearing it's ugly head because I've run out of birth control and I can't get anymore until I see a doctor, and that's not going to be for a while. Then on top of that my birthday is coming up and I just feel like an utter failure in accomplishing all the things that I wanted by this point in my life. Things I will now never accomplish because it's far too late. So I'm grieving for all the things I've lost due to my illness. And I can't seem to come to terms with it. It's like a chasm in my head that just seems bottomless and too far to bridge. And eventually I will just fall apart again trying to breach it when it's just impossible to do so.
Seesaw
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What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly?
Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder
Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia.
Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien
Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less...
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