Ledgewood,

No rape is voluntary. I don't think your girlfriend will see what happened any other way. You were sacraficing yourself.

I wonder if on some level you are more concerned that her knowing will simply open her wounds, force her to confront again all she went through with her father? If this sounds like a concern, maybe what you need is supports for how to best approach her.

Overall, I think at some point you will have to let this information out. You are obviously in pain keeping this secret from her. At the right time, I believe you will have to tell her. But I do recommend figuring out first the best time and best way to present this information in a loving and supportive way. It will be important for you as a couple.

Hope this helps.

be well,

mtd