I also say.... no rape is voluntary... and what happen to you.. was in no ... way...shape.. form... voluntary....

it was..rape... and brutal....

And.. you have so very much courage.... you really do....

Your question is so tough... it really is.... "secrets" are very hard on people - on you...

I kept secrets... alot of secrets.. and it takes a toll...

Finding the "right" time to tell her... would help to being able to work thru the knowledge if you choose to tell her..

That "right" time... may be when "things are in balance"... when things have settled down...

She knows... it sounds like... that there is "more" to the story... so she would... be expecting something.... in other words... it would not take her totally by surprise..."surprising" someone.. can lead to kind of a shock for that person...and perhaps an unexpected response...

It sounds.. like both of you have been thru a great deal.. and are very "tough" people... and "tough" people.. last...

(((((hugs)))) for you... for the pain you endured.. for your courage... for the pain that you feel now....