You're not bad being disturbed by his thrashing in the night and waking you! My husband did that last night then farted and then did the fan the sheets thing. We traded insults but in good fun and my husband decided as a result to get up so I could sleep better.

Your kids give you love back, as a saying I absolutely love says:

<font color="blue">The joy a mother takes in giving a child gives in taking. </font>

Doesn't sound like your husband is giving you anything. That's not you being bad or unloving, that's him not contributing his part!