For some reason it is easier to beat ourselves up than pat ourselves on the back. I still do it a lot, but then I look at where I am and realize that the past doesn't matter, can't change it anyway...

You also need to remember that recovery can be a life long process. You won't wake up a new person suddenly, but you will have days when the good outweighs the bad. Also remember that life has ups and downs and so do your moods, feelings. I think sometimes we get depressed just trying to fight the natural flow of things.

I hope you're having a better day.