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but there is no way for me to open myself up and not have it be all the way.
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Is there a reason for this? Are you able to learn emotional regulation & better skills for interpersonal effectiveness?
The thing is that it is ok to have friends at all different levels of interfacing with us. Not every friend has to be a close one....but they can still be friends closer to the acqusintance level yet still friends.....not all friendships are created equal & that is OK.