What a cool question.......you know, we simply don't take any time to ponder our direction. Like many people, I tend to robot my way through the day - wake up, brush teeth, meds in pocket, work, school pickup, home, dinner. Wash, rinse, repeat. But the odd thing is this - when we *do* get a chance to think about our purpose (or perhaps we stumble upon this thought by accident), we feel sort of empty. What is my purpose? Where am I going? I'm 52, what is left to give? Am I here for the kids? Surely I can't wake up for the benefit of the company. Screw the company! The clock is ticking, what am I doing? Am I at a point in life where I just let the wind blow me where it will? And should I accept this? Or.......is this just life? Am I asking for too much? Should I just embrace the notion that this is my condition? There is nothing else, anything different is just Pollyanna.

I'm not sure what to think. There's a balance between bliss and practicality. Or is there? Maybe our condition is more practical. We fight fight fight for that precious time in which we can be who we want to be. But of course, that time is fleeting and we step back into the practicality of life - bills, schedules, expectations. I dream of a life of "Le Freak, C'est Chic" but I know, and need to accept, that my true condition is one of dad, teacher, mentor, giver. I desperately try to be more selfish and in doing so, brand myself as "selfish" to those who know me.

In the end, perhaps it is my sacrifice that keeps me alive. Perhaps I need to trust in God that He has put me here for a reason, and accept that all my struggles, anger, and self doubt have a place in the higher plan. Who am I to challenge?