I have been under a lot of stress lately.
Got up this morning to take my heart meds and noticed I hadn't taken anything for Tuesday and Wednesday-- I thought today was Thursday.
So I took my meds for today (Wednesday) but have zero recollection of Tuesday. Nothing stands out for me. I have an alarm on my phone for pill times so I don't forget, but can't remember it going off, or shutting it off.
I don't know if it is the stress/anxiety, the xanax, or the depressive cycle. Frankly, the stress I am experiencing is really too much. My eye won't stop twitching/spasming. There is no end in sight. The one private pdoc is booking new appointments in December.
Grrrr.
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I was drawn to all the wrong things: I liked to drink, I was lazy, I didn't have a god, politics, ideas, ideals. I was settled into nothingness; a kind of non-being, and I accepted it. I didn't make for an interesting person. I didn't want to be interesting, it was too hard. What I really wanted was only a soft, hazy space to live in, and to be left alone. ~ Charles Bukowski
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